exploring the details (and trying to be kind)

I’ve been coaching recreational kid’s soccer for about 10 years. For the last 5 years or so, I’ve had a couple teams each season. I still make my share of mistakes (attitude mistakes and coaching errors) but I’ve got some thoughts for parents of kids under the age of 16 (this is for rec ball). It might work for parents of older kids but I don’t have personal experience with that yet. I’m guessing these might apply to other sports too.

During the game… 

1. Say nothing unless it’s completely positive. Your players don’t need remarks of disappointment while they’re working. “What are you doooooing, Bobby?” is not positive.
2. Let the coach guide the players. In the heat of the match, a kid is going to have a tough time figuring out who to listen to (and it’s not you).
3. Remember you chose the recreational league because your player probably isn’t the next Beckham (or you didn’t want to invest all that time and money). S/he might be, but then you’d be in a travel or an advanced league and this advice wouldn’t be for you (although if you’re in a travel league, feel free to ratchet back your anger and intensity if you feel it coming on… it’s not a great example to set and it fuels the bad attitudes and sportsmanship we’re increasingly seeing on the fields).
4. Enjoy that your child is trying, competing, and getting a solid workout.

After the game… Reinforce the importance of effort and acknowledge any bright spots. If there were any bad attitude moments (for your player), ask if they think they could have done anything better during the game and then listen without giving advice. If you had any bad attitude moments, apologize (it sets a good example).

If you’re a new rec coach (or a coach who hasn’t had a great deal of success – define that how you’d like) and you’re interested, here’s what’s worked for me…

1. In my league we’re restricted to a couple one-hour practices each week. That means I have 2 hours (120 minutes) to develop a group of players that will play well (individually and as a team) and strive to win a clean game with a good attitude. Since reading something about 5 years ago that suggested some of the best players come out of simply playing on the street, I’ve coached by it ever since.
2. For players under 16, with this limited amount of time, I focus on making sure people are running and touching the ball (with their feet) as much as possible. Barring a few introductory remarks, every practice is filled with short-sided scrimmages using small goals and no goal keeper (3 vs. 3 or up to 6 vs. 6 depending on the number of players who are attending practice). This makes it almost impossible for a player to hide out and not play (bringing along some of the less-comfortable players). During these games we obsess on (1) making it habit to go to the ball immediately (and getting to it first… even if you don’t think you can) (2) passing the ball in front of players (into space) and moving to space (open areas) when you don’t have the ball and (3) getting up immediately if you fall down (unless you’re seriously hurt). With 120 minutes of practice time a week, those core issues are more than enough to handle.
3. I’ve never been lucky enough to have a player who wanted to play goal keeper. So, we invest no time on developing one and count on developing a defense that obsesses over never letting the ball get near the goal (kick the ball out to the sides and up the field… out and up). Then, at game time, depending on the situation, I’ll rotate players through who appear to “see the game” a little better than others. If I had a player who knew they wanted to be a goal keeper, I’d probably have them take shots from a single player for at least half of the practice. (But I don’t know if that would work, because I’ve never done it).
4. Throughout practice, I’ll talk a little 212 (pointing out how a simple half step can be the difference between getting or stopping a pass or goal) and Smovish (for attitude) and I’ll make sure the kids who show some serious effort get a side note of encouragement. If there’s someone who needs a push so they try a little more, I’ll be sure to mention it (trying to be kind). Any whining or complaining… not a good thing with me. I’ll give this immediate attention. This is a bad habit that can spread and infect good players and then stay with them for life (I’m guessing that life thing based on my experience as a midlifer). We strive for “complainless” players. Also, I’ll reinforce the issue of clean aggressive play (during the game too). Any dirty play gets immediate attention.
5. At the end of practice or after a game, I’ll ask players to work with the ball on their own every day for 5 – 10 minutes. With this, I’m hoping they stay in tune on off days and maybe play a little longer. Once they hit 12-years-old, I’ll ask them to run a mile a day (when it’s convenient and safe) with a friend or family member. Some will do it and some won’t but my hope is for better fitness than if it wasn’t suggested.

No lines. More fun. Serious fitness. More than a hundred ball touches per player (hopefully) per practice. More resilience and confidence.

It’s not perfect but my bet is that it’s the best use of time for rec ball.

Since doing it, I’ve seen some solid players develop into great players and some less talented players develop into solid players (with better attitudes). Also, almost every team we’ve had over the last five years has had a winning record (with several undefeated seasons). Of course, we could be lucky with the talent of the players but I’m confident it’s a little bit of both.

One other thing… Once my players reach the age of 11, I ask them to bring their own drinks and energy food. I believe it encourages personal responsibility and lightens the load of families who might be managing several sports events on a particular day.

Oh… And trophies aren’t for participation. They’re for first place (and maybe second).

If you need more, here’s a wonderful guide from the U.S. Soccer Federation (it’s free).